Yes, it's true there are a lot of traditions when it comes to weddings, but things have changed too.
Here it is in black and white -- those formally set-in-stone rules that just don't hold up anymore
(despite what the 'rents say).
Old School Rule #1: The bride's parents pay for the wedding.
New Rule: Every couple funds the festivities in different ways. Maybe your mom and dad want to pay for
every single thing, but, unlike in the past where the bride's family was expected to foot the whole
bill, they're in no way obligated to now. Grooms' parents and the couples themselves chip in nearly as
often as brides' parents do. It just depends on your family's situation. If you'd like your fiancé's
parents' help, your husband-to-be will need to ask for it -- not you, and certainly not your parents.
Just remember: Whoever pays gets a say. If you know your mother-in-law will insist on an in-church
ceremony if she contributes and you've got your heart set on exchanging vows on a sandy beach, you may
be happier cutting your guest list than asking her to contribute anything.
Old School Rule #2: You must invite everyone with a guest.
New Rule: If they'll know others, skip the plus-one. It's still polite (and very appreciated!) to
invite guests' significant others, but if you're inviting a group of coworkers, for instance, and two
or more of them are single, they should have no problem attending solo. Only when guests won't know
anyone aside from the couple is it mandatory to let them bring a date. It's kind to invite attendants
with guests too (they are shelling out big bucks for their attire!).
Old School Rule #3: Your registry should consist entirely of housewares for your new home.
New Rule: You can register for anything from honeymoon hotel accommodations to skiing equipment. Guess
what, Grandma? Lots of couples live together before they get married and may have all of the towels and
blenders they'll ever want. You can request upgraded versions of home items you already own, but
nothing should stop you from creating a honeymoon or otherwise "untraditional" registry. These are your
gifts, and you need to be happy with them! If you're inviting a few Internet-less guests, including
items from a brick-and-mortar store they can actually get to will help prevent a buildup of unwanted
presents. But you should feel free to include a ping-pong table for your basement or the complete Sex
and the City DVD collection on your wish list if you can't use yet another kitchen appliance. A word of
caution: Some of the older folks think that they know what brides and grooms really need, so they may
get you an iron even if you haven't requested one.
Old School Rule #4: You must wear a long, white gown.
New Rule: Wear whatever you want! Sure, most brides go the long white or ivory route, but for your
wedding day attire, anything goes: from a retro short dress to a silver, slinky sheath to a (gasp!)
black pantsuit. As long as you feel fabulous in your outfit, it can be any color or style. You can even
skip the veil! Warning: Your fashion choices may wind up shocking your older guests, especially the
ones who equate wearing white with "purity." If you'd prefer that your look pleases the crowd but
aren't willing to go totally traditional, try working in a hint of color via a dress sash, your shoes,
jewelry or a hair accessory or opting for a tea-length dress.
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